


Is There That Kind Of Doctor In The House?

by agentsimmons



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5 Times, Adorable Bruce Banner, Avenger Sam Wilson, BAMF Bruce Banner, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Feels, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Bruce Banner-centric, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Canon Divergence - Iron Man 3, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, F/M, Fake Science, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Hand wavy Marvel science, M/M, Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Minor Jane Foster/Thor, Minor Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers, Natasha Feels, Natasha Is Not A Monster, Natasha Needs a Hug, Not Canon Compliant, Protective Bruce Banner, Psychobabble, Science Bros, Tags Contain Spoilers, Thor Angst, Thor Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, past Betty Ross/Bruce Banner - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-04 21:12:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4153125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentsimmons/pseuds/agentsimmons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce Banner really isn't that kind of doctor, but being treated like the residential psychiatrist might change that. </p><p>Takes place post-IM3 and includes most, but not all canon details (cough*arc reactor*cough) and includes some elements established from TWS (basically the existence of Sam & Sharon).</p><p>AKA 5 Times Bruce Banner Was Not That Kind Of Doctor + 1 Time He Was (because yeah that hasn't been done to death by now...)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Clint

"Face it. I'm definitely going to win."

"Says the man who claims he hasn't played a game of tennis in his life."

The two scientists walked into the communal room dressed (semi-poorly) for a trip to the tower's tennis court. Tony had forgotten he'd even had a tennis court added to the tower - but of course he did; he'd gone and added just about every single cliché thing he could think of - until he'd seen Bruce with a tennis racket one day. Once he'd gotten over his slight shock at the idea of Bruce doing anything other than science, yoga or cooking, Tony had challenged him to a game. 

"I'm just saying I have tons of experience backhanding and whatnot thanks to the suit."

Bruce smirked at his friend as he walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed them both some waters. Then he grabbed two energy bars for after the match. 

"Okay and I'll be sure to remember that when I beat you," Bruce said as he brought over the waters and energy bars, handing one of each to Tony - Tony taking them because Bruce was a rare exception to his rule.

"Someone ate their Wheaties this morning, didn't they?" Bruce snorted. "Okay, let's make a bet. I win, you..." A dangerous grin spread across Tony's face. 

"Nope," Bruce said matter-of-factly. "No sexual favors. Try again."

"Well that just takes the fun out of betting." Tony looked like a deflated balloon. He was debating if he should think of another bet when he noticed Bruce had become distracted by something. "What?" He followed Bruce's gaze and saw Clint sitting dead-eyed on the couch. 

"I think something's wrong with Clint."

"You're just now noticing that?" Tony joked, but he was still studying the situation.

"Tony." Bruce shook his head in friendly admonition before looking back at Clint. He brought his hand to his chin, scratching unconsciously, and then decided somebody should see if the archer was okay. "Look you head down to the court and get in a few," he paused for a beat before jabbing, "much needed practice swings. I'll be down in a minute."

"Seriously?" Tony scoffed lightly. "You're picking Barton over me?"

"For a few minutes, yes. Try not to let it hurt your ego too much since I certainly couldn't live with myself if it did," Bruce deadpanned. "Unless _you_ want to..." He started to shrug towards Clint.

"I'll see you downstairs," Tony answered immediately and headed toward the elevator, though not without another curious glance at Bruce as the man made his way over to Clint.

"Hey," Bruce started uneasily. "You probably heard us, but... Are you okay? Do you-"

"-just fine, doc," Clint said sharply, sounding the opposite of fine. "Better not keep Tony waiting too long. You know he acts like a lost puppy when you leave him alone for more than five minutes."

"Uh... I don't know that actually, no," Bruce responded. "Even so, Tony could use a few lessons in patience, but if you really don't want to tell me what's going on, I'll leave it be. I'm not really that kind of doctor anyway," he added with a thin smile. Clint remained dead-eyed and tightlipped so he shrugged and turned to leave.

"Sorry, doc," Clint replied earnestly enough. "It's... It's about Natasha."

"Oh," Bruce said knowingly and turned back around. 

"Yeah, I know. I'm pretty obvious. But some days it's harder than others, you know? Wanting something you can't have."

"Now that I do know," Bruce answered with a slight sigh as he sat against the arm of the adjacent chair. "So, you've talked to her about it then?"

"I don't have to. She's interested, told me herself once. But love is for children and she's just been too hurt to put herself out on the line for that kind of thing again. I can't say I blame her. In fact, I don't blame her. I'm okay with just being her partner if that's all she wants. Except for the days I'm not, I guess." He sighed. "I don't know. Maybe I should consider myself lucky she's allowed me in as close as she has. It doesn't change the fact that she's my best friend."

"That sounds like a pretty solid line of reasoning," Bruce offered thoughtfully. "I've- I've been learning that maybe if you focus on what you do have, what you don't have isn't... Isn't so bad. I mean, yeah, there's some days like today, like how you feel now. But they're easier to get through when you remind yourself all of things that- That you don't want to lose. You wouldn't want to lose Natasha's friendship would you?"

"Not at all," Clint answered pointedly. "She's one of the few people I would trust with my life. If she betrayed that, I think it would... Well, it would hurt."

"Okay," Bruce shrugged a shoulder, "so if you get hung up on wanting something more and lose sight of that... Or, you know, if you press the issue and push her away..."

"You're right," Clint said, sounding more fine than he had before. "I definitely couldn't live with that scenario. That would feel worse than sitting here wishing for more. Thanks, doc. That was really helpful. Play you at tennis some time?"

"Uh, yeah, I'd like that," Bruce said, slightly taken aback by both the gratitude and casual offer. 

"Cool. Well, don't leave Stark waiting. Go serve his ass to him, doc," Clint replied with an insolent grin.

Bruce just laughed slightly before leaving to do just that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Clint gets such an itty bitty chapter compared to all the others that are coming. And why tennis? Idk I just thought of the cliché of business towers having indoor tennis courts and just rolled with it. (And then the idea of Bruce and Tony playing each other at tennis got under my skin...)


	2. Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible TW for strained family relationships (discussion of Thor's relationship with his father and brother, self-blaming, father-blaming, etc.) Possible TW for allusions to Bruce's childhood pain/relationship with his father. Possible TW for emotional scars. Possible TW for discussion of insanity/madness.
> 
> Basically precious babies Thor and Bruce have family angst and need hugs man.

"So, if we adjust it here," Bruce said, darting his fingers across the holoscreen, "then it should compensate..."

"...for the additional density of the suit while still maintaining the stability for the arc reactor..."

"...thus allowing for the suit to act as a shield and not..."

"...fry out the circuits and stop the reactor during the jump," Tony finished their shared brainstorm.

"Exactly," Bruce said with a nod and thin smile as he wagged his finger once firmly. "In theory, the suit should be able to teleport to the desired coordinates with you in it."

"You know, our combined IQs should probably be illegal," Tony said with a broad smile as he clasped Bruce's shoulders and bounced like a giddy schoolboy. 

"I think we narrowly escaped the legal cap by 4 points thanks to the accident knocking me down a peg or two." 

Bruce smirked, thoroughly enjoying the laugh that it elicited from Tony and the cheerful gleam that settled in his brown eyes. He looked like a kid in a candy shop or staring at puppies in a window, as he often did when they managed to collectively solve some problem or create something.

"My compliments then to Jolly Green for keeping us legal," Tony replied, finishing with another laugh as he let go of one of Bruce's shoulders and squeezed the other. 

"Sirs, if I may interrupt your _science bro..."_ JARVIS seemed to cringe at the term just as much as Bruce did, "...time, Thor is-"

"-um, nope, can't interrupt science bro time. You should know that already, J." Tony waved his hand at the invisible AI. He then walked across the room to focus on another screen for no reason in particular that Bruce could discern. 

"Please continue, JARVIS," Bruce said patiently. 

"Yes, sir. Thor regrets asking permission to interrupt your masterful study of the sciences, but he wishes to speak with you, Dr. Banner."

"With me?" Bruce asked in disbelief, Tony turning on his heel a little too quickly to appear neutral.

"This is how it begins, Bruce," Tony said after a somewhat puzzling beat of silence. "They're going to try and break up our super awesome science club of awesomeness because clearly we're a threat. Probably Fury's orders."

"Okay, well, while you adjust your tinfoil hat, I'm going to go see what Thor wants," Bruce quipped with an amused smile. Tony was clearly in a much more playful mood than usual today. A regular science buzz, no doubt.

"Um, hey, no, bad idea, Bruce," Tony called after him. "We may only have so long to escape before they send the assassins in to finish the job."

Bruce chuckled his 'you are fifty cards short of a full deck, you endearing loser' chuckle and said, "Yeah, well, if I'm not back in 15 minutes go on the lam without me." He heard Tony's overdramatic scoff of "never" as he left Tony's workshop and proceeded to find Thor.

JARVIS directed him to the large patio on Thor's floor where he stood, clearly distressed. If not for his solemn features, Bruce would still know due to the overcast sky that seemed to hang heaviest over the Asgardian. He suddenly wondered exactly what Thor could possibly wish to speak about, especially in this mood, but took a deep breath and approached him nonetheless.

"You wanted to talk?" Bruce asked, sidling in beside Thor and leaning over the balcony.

Thor didn't turn to him, but spoke low and soberly. "I do not wish to burden you with my sorrow, but you have proven yourself the most valiant of healers in these matters and my heart would be lighter to share-"

"-I'll listen, Thor," Bruce offered with a small sigh. He wasn't sure where Thor came up with the idea that he was a valiant healer in these matters, but if his teammate needed somebody and trusted him, he would at least try. When he had made the conscious choice to stay with the team, he had made it his prerogative to at least try to give them help whenever he possibly could - perhaps to prove to them the things he wasn't inclined to say directly.

"I do not wish to cause you pain as I am aware of your troubled past, Doctor," Thor began cautiously, "so please stop me if it is ever too much."

That wasn't reassuring, but Bruce had to admit he was grateful for the thoughtful straightforwardness of Thor's warning and so nodded twice. There was a deep moment of silence, Thor's tension palpable around them before he released it with a heavy exhale.

"Often when I am parted from Jane as I have been of late, my thoughts turn inward as she is the only one I share my private battles with. As my thoughts turn inward, they stray to Asgard and to the bitterness that is now mingled there with what was once sweet." Thor paused deliberately.

"Loki," Bruce said knowingly as he attempted to soothe the low growl at the back of his mind that all but said _Hammer Man friend now. Puny god hurt Hammer Man._

"Yes," Thor confirmed in a grave mumble. "Ever I wish to return to our days of youth, when we were brothers and allies and the seeds of distrust and contempt had not yet been sown. I love my father, but I cannot deny the burden that lays on my heart. It is the guilt and shame of a son who has failed him in more ways than one."

Bruce's hands wrung together slightly as he tried not to think of his own perceived failure in his father's eyes. He knew there wasn't any comparison, at least none that Thor had ever expressed, but he also knew the feeling is often similar for each individual regardless of the magnitude of the actual experience. The natural human ego so to speak. 

"I'm having trouble imagining you as a failure," Bruce offered genuinely.

Thor offered a weary smile in return. "From as mighty a warrior as yourself, that is no small compliment." He then sighed. "But for far too many centuries I courted war and was too blinded by my own vanities to be the son and brother I could have been. I should have been more keen to my brother's madness. Perhaps-"

"-it doesn't always matter," Bruce said suddenly, exhaling sharply and Thor glanced at him with an expression bordering between confusion and concern. "It... It just sometimes doesn't matter. Sometimes people who shouldn't... Shouldn't..." Bruce took a few more steadying breaths and Thor's hand came to rest strongly on his shoulder. "They shouldn't hurt you... Shouldn't  _want_ to hurt you. But they do. And there's not always something you can do to change it. I- I don't know how Loki was before, but there is no knowing it wouldn't have caught up to him one way or the other. Sometimes... Sometimes things just catch up to you. Sometimes madness just is."

"Aye, these are wise words however tragic they may be. And it is for that reason I also feel guilt. I often doubt my father's wisdom more than I should. I wonder at how he did not see sooner the pain. I wonder at words he has said. I do not wish to think these things as it is Loki's actions and his actions alone which condemn him, but when my thoughts turn inward and toward the past, I am no longer certain that all of my brother's slights were imagined. I am only certain that he is lost to me and has left scars I fear may never fully heal."

There was a pregnant pause. "No, but maybe they can fade," Bruce said with a conviction he wasn't even aware he could possess on the topic. He had never really believed that before. Scars were just hideous tattoos there to taunt you, that was what he had believed. He had never realized anything could be good enough to soothe the scars until they weren't just oppressive imperfections glaring at him. He hadn't considered anything even remotely positive on the matter until the Avengers had happened. Until Tony had happened, if he were to put an even finer point on it. 

"A valiant healer indeed," Thor conceded with a smile. 

"You know, I'm..." Bruce licked his lips considering his words. "I'm not really a valiant healer as you seem to think. I'm not really the kind of doctor who handles this type of thing. But I am your friend. And I'm only one of many. You don't have to turn inward when Dr. Foster isn't here. You can turn to us. If I'm not available, I know Steve, Clint or Natasha will listen. They... They may not approach it the same way, mind you, but they do care."

"And Tony?" Thor asked with a small smile.

Bruce shared the smile and shrugged. "He might care more than the rest of us, actually. He's just the least inclined to know how to show it sometimes. Even Natasha has a steadier M-O when it comes to this type of thing."

"Aye, quiet, but powerful just the same." Thor nodded. "But, I do not understand your insistence that you are not, what is the phrase I've heard you use in jest?"

"That kind of doctor?" Bruce turned his head, raising an eyebrow as he did and Thor nodded again. "Well, I'm just... I'm just not. You have to have a degree for one thing. For another, I have a lot of issues of my own. I'm not really in any position to be handing out advice to people who need it when I can't seem to handle my own demons, you know?"

Thor seemed to be contemplating his answer for several long seconds. "Perhaps," he finally said, slight compromise in his tone before changing course, "or it may be a well that you draw perception from without even realizing it." Bruce blinked at this. "I do not mean to presume your interests, but if you were to desire to become that kind of doctor, I believe you would not be ill suited."

"Huh. Well, thanks for the vote of confidence anyhow," Bruce accepted Thor's well-intended comment.

"And thank you for conversing with me on this matter. Before you leave I must add, I hope you do not include yourself among the mad, Doctor. It is not only madness and sorrow that may catch up to us."

"Or anger?" Bruce added a little sadly.

"Nor anger either. Sometimes there is peace. I wish that to be your fate. It is a fate you deserve."

"You too, Thor," was the only response Bruce could manage.


	3. Natasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible TW for Natasha's issues. Possible spoilers for Age of Ultron as it includes some of the same meta for her character.

"We should become detectives," Tony mused as he and Bruce binge watched _Sherlock_ in the communal lounge.

"What, fighting bad guys in ridiculous suits not sophisticated enough for you?" Bruce asked, an incredulous chuckle just settling in his throat as he kept his eyes on the screen.

"A. Only Cap has a ridiculous suit. B. I would make a fantastic Sherlock Holmes."

"You _are_ neurotic," Bruce deadpanned. 

"And _you_ are my sassy Dr. Watson, clearly."

"Well, you've got the doctor part right I guess." Bruce chuckled more fully this time, though not completely throwing the similarities that possibly existed between himself and Watson versus Tony and Holmes from his inner musings.

Natasha suddenly interrupted their banter on the topic and sat down in the armchair adjacent to the couch. "Now, Bruce, don't let Tony talk you into settling as the sidekick," she teased. "You're clever enough to be Sherlock Holmes too."

Tony huffed, glaring at her slightly. "And how do you know I wasn't implying that of the two of us I'm the asshole and Bruce is the brilliant, longsuffering glue that holds me together, hmm?"

Natasha tilted her head slightly as if to ask, " _Is_ that what you were implying?"

Bruce laughed, ignoring them both. "Contrary to popular belief, my asshole routine is actually very good, but I'm more than okay with being the Watson in this hypothetical tag team."

They continued to watch the show silently, but Bruce couldn't help feeling the tension that had settled into the small space. Not only did Tony seem to disapprove of Natasha crashing their binge watch - which really seemed preposterous to Bruce - by sending an unattractive scowl her way every now and then to show for it, Bruce also noticed that Natasha had clearly settled in for a reason other than to watch the show with them. She seemed to be sending small signals that she wanted to talk about something and if the glance she flickered towards him was any indication, he was the one she wanted to talk to. He briefly wondered if that was why Tony was scowling. Maybe he had noticed too and didn't want to interrupt the marathon on account of it?

Once the current episode ended, Bruce stood to his feet and stretched casually. He looked down at Tony, noticing that the clingy 'don't leave me' look he sometimes got had immediately settled into the man's eyes. He realized he needed to strike a balance: let him know he was leaving the room, but only for so long. "You can go ahead and start the next one if you want. Up to you. I'm gonna go make some popcorn and grab some drinks. Any other requests?"

The clingy look eased. "Nope, good here. No wait, extra butter. I wanna be able to swim in it."

"Right, because that's practical and not at all the fastest way to a h-" The words died on Bruce's tongue and his eyes clouded over. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"I can handle heart jokes, Bruce." Tony offered him a reassuring smile.

"Well, that makes one of us," Bruce replied with a small twist of his head. He then turned to look at Natasha, missing the strange expression on his friend's face that had followed. "Hey, Tasha. You, uh, wanna help?" She seemed to be studying Tony when he asked, but then she immediately looked up at him and gave him a friendly nod.

In the kitchen, Bruce pulled out the popcorn machine and the jar of unpopped kernels. Setting about that task, he gladly left the butter to Natasha's judgment rather than his own. Once he had started the machine, Bruce leaned against the island, his back turned to the lounge, and with a deep breath asked Natasha what was up.

She stilled for a moment as she melted the butter on the stove. Without turning to him she said, "You're not the same man I picked up in Kolkata last year."

Bruce scrunched his face. "Do you mean as in no longer running away or not fighting being dragged into battle?"

"Sort of. You're still getting there, I guess, but," she turned off the stove, moving the melted butter from the burner, and then turned to face him, "you're different. How?"

"Um... While I'm not entirely certain your assessment is accurate, if I have changed just a bit... I would think it's fairly obvious." He didn't miss the way her eyes flicked past his shoulder, cocking her head and narrowing her gaze slightly at whatever it was Tony must be doing behind him, and then met his gaze again. "Yeah, Tony," Bruce nodded with an easy albeit small smile, before adding, "and you." She furrowed her brow. "And Clint. And Steve. And Thor. The whole team. It- It scares me a little... Or a lot. But... Maybe it's a good thing."

"But is it enough?" Natasha asked with a genuine curiosity that unnerved him. She rarely seemed to be out of her depth. He could only recall those few moments when she'd been afraid of the Other Guy. "Your ledger is red too, right? Has the team really wiped-"

"-no," he said firmly, shaking his head. "The red's still there, Tasha. It's... It's always going to be there." He knew his face was sullen and he tried hard to ignore the fear that bubbled just beneath his skin whenever he allowed himself to think about the things - and lives - destroyed by the Hulk. "It's not something I can change and I'm still not certain there won't be-" She started to open her mouth to speak, but he forced himself to continue, "There's always a chance the ledger will grow. He... He may not be the monster I once thought he was, but he _can_ be. _I can be_." He squeezed his eyes shut, straining for what to say and trying to keep his breathing relaxed. "And there are days not even the team is enough. I _hate it_ , but the feeling's there no matter what Tony says or what the rest of you think... I'm a monster."

Natasha's eyes narrowed, a vulnerability in them that she rarely dared show anyone. Her breathing was unnaturally ragged and she glanced over Bruce's shoulder to meet with dark eyes that looked no less lonely than how she currently felt. "I'm a monster too," she confessed finally.

"What?" Bruce's eyes snapped open. "Natash-"

"-I am. When we met, you said you don't always get what you want. That makes two of us." She shrugged. "I want to love, but I can't. Not really. I can't feel it the way others do. It was stolen from me. Everything was stolen from me." Traitorous tears brimmed in her eyes and Bruce realized just how much she must trust him now, how far their friendship had come since that lousy first meeting in Kolkata.

"I can't even have kids. They stole that from me too." Her throat was tight and she quirked her mouth a few times, willing her face back into something more stoic - as if searching for a mask that could make this confession easier. "Clint doesn't understand. I can't love him. I can't have anything normal with him. No matter how much I might want to. I do, you know. But... Love is for children, not monsters."

" _Tasha_ ," Bruce said sharply, green tinging his vision until he forced it back down. " _None_ of that makes you a monster. You can't honestly believe that? That you're the only person in the world who has had those rights stolen from them? I... I know I can't even begin to imagine the hell you've lived through. And I can't stand here and tell you that you're wrong and that you _can_ love since I didn't think I could either until I met Betty. But, you're not a monster, Tasha. The people who stole everything from you, _they're_ the monsters."

Natasha's eyes were closed tightly, fighting the tears. She couldn't respond. But he wasn't going to let her yet anyway. He still had far too much to say.

"And while we're drawing up comparisons, I know what it's like to give up somebody, to run away, to give them what you think is best. Some days I still want to run because I think everyone here would be better off without me. And with Betty, I'll always wonder if I made the right decision, but deep down I know what she wanted, it's what I had wanted, what I still want, but at the end of the day... The equation just wasn't right anymore. Close, but..." He let his sentence trail momentarily and choked down his own memories some more. 

"Do you think Clint's the same way? Do you think that he just wants some ideal? Because that's what it should come down to. It needs to come down to what you both want. Betty let me go. She moved on. That, god, I hate it sometimes, but it speaks volumes. But Clint's still by your side, Tasha. And whether or not you can love him as more than a friend, at least he's that much right? Maybe you can't wipe out the red, but you can balance it out a little. I have to believe that. We _both_ have to at least a little or we wouldn't still be here."

Natasha tilted her head slightly and opened her sad eyes slowly. "You're right." 

It was all she could say, closing her eyes again, and Bruce bit his lips harshly as the confrontation echoed in his mind. Instantly he realized there had been words he hadn't dared to say before this moment. There were things he had been too afraid to admit to himself. Maybe he was just angrier than usual. Maybe by dinner he would be back to a big helping of well-practiced self-deprivation with a side of self-deprecation. But something told him, no, maybe not. He still had low days, that was true. But there had to be truth in her saying he wasn't quite the same man he'd once been. There had to be some truth in the notion that his ledger was finally balancing out a little, giving him room to finally breathe and live and enjoy again. If only for a little while. 

Suddenly, Bruce felt a familiar hand squeeze gently, reassuringly at the base of his neck where it met his shoulder. He was about to nod his head toward Natasha instead, but before he could, Tony's hand left him of its own accord and he watched as the engineer moved past him to envelop Natasha in a strong embrace before she could protest. She didn't run and she didn't speak. She just allowed him to soothe her with his unique brand of protectiveness and communicable confidence.

As he watched them, smiling at Tony's rare display of openness, Bruce was suddenly aware that there was a third ledger in the tower that acted as a very good example of the balance that could be struck with the right amount of stubbornness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AOU spoilers in this note) I wasn't sure I was going to do the whole "monster" thing for their conversation, but then I started fuming again about how Bruce in the movie (hypothetical romance or no) should have been "what the hell Tasha you're not a monster" because _hon-est-ly_. So I had to play with the meta and have Bruce -being a good friend/all around decent human being- do just that. Call her out for that logic. I know he might sound harsh here, but I also think Natasha's the kind of person who can get her mind straightened back out when someone isn't playing games with her (like Steve's tough love with her in TWS).


	4. Steve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since Sharon is mentioned in this chapter, it might be a good time to explain my timeline for this fic. It's supposed to span the latter 4 months or so of 2013. So even though character iterations from TWS pop up in this story, TWS didn't really happen in this story's verse so their origins are tweaked. I don't really explain Sharon's origin, but in my head for this, Sharon is still just an agent that Steve met while working for SHIELD during the span of The Avengers and after the end of Iron Man 3.

"What's cookin', good lookin'?" Tony asked, striding into the communal kitchen where Bruce was preparing the team dinner. 

Bruce turned to him with an incredulously raised brow. That line was cheesy even for the billionaire. "Oh good, the last ingredient is here."

"Ok, I really hope you meant that as a euphemism for sex because I don't think the team would enjoy Tony Stew."

"Mm, I don't know. I'm a pretty good cook," Bruce replied with a wry smile that was not at all reassuring. "I'm making chicken and dumplings. And a fresh green bean salad."

"Well, that's a relief," Tony joked. "Let's add some dinner rolls to the mix while we're at it. Double starch is the best. Want some help?"

Bruce quirked his head. " _You_ want to help? You don't usually..." He didn't finish that slight insult.

"Hey, I'm not completely hopeless in the kitchen," Tony said in mock indignation. "And, yes, I want to help. Ergo the offer."

Bruce gave him a genuinely surprised, but pleased smile. "Okay then, sure. If you could make the dumpling mix for me, that'd be great."

"Right. Sure. I can do that." 

Bruce watched in amusement as Tony tapped his fingers nervously at his side and looked around the kitchen, clearly unsure of what to do first, but also clearly not about to ask for help. Finally, Bruce couldn't hold back a soft chuckle. He grabbed the recipe book and flipped to the appropriate page (he had already memorized it) and then shoved the book into Tony's personal space.

"The part that says dumpling mixture," Bruce said, tapping at it. Tony took the book, somewhat disgruntled. 

Bruce went back to his previous preparation, but couldn't keep from casually monitoring Tony's slow, unsteady process with further amusement. The engineer checked and double checked the page to make sure he was reading it correctly. His hands, usually skilled, were clumsy with the foreign objects that Bruce mused shouldn't be _that_ foreign as they weren't so far off from beakers and test tubes. Then again, Tony was nothing if not spontaneous in the lab and more inclined to the side of science that didn't require patience and precision. Organic science was not his area of expertise. 

"You're going to get it everywhere if you keep whisking it like that," Bruce said, finally unable to micromanage just a little bit as the other man whisked the ingredients without any kind of delicacy. Tony stopped, huffed slightly, nodded once and then began whisking at a glacial pace. Bruce hung his head in one hand for a moment, willing himself not to laugh since Tony was obviously trying his best. Regaining his composure, he moved over to him and carefully took the bowl and whisk.

"Here, watch." He whisked it at a medium pace a few times and then handed both back to him. "You've got to keep an even, moderate pace to get the right consistency. Going too slow wouldn't give us very good dumplings to work with." He looked up at the man staring at him with a look he couldn't quite read. He hoped it wasn't that Tony suddenly felt insulted by the constructive criticism. It was Tony after all. "Are you going to try again?" Bruce asked earnestly. "If not-"

"-hey, something smells good." Steve's voice startled them both. Tony immediately returned to whisking much too quickly again and Bruce instinctively placed his hand on his forearm to remind him to slow down, removing it once Tony got the point. "Chicken and dumplings?"

"Yeah," Bruce said with a friendly smile. "Not old fashioned this time though. Sorry."

"Classic either way," Steve responded with a hint of appreciative nostalgia. "So..." Steve quirked a brow slightly at Tony's unusual presence in the kitchen. "Need any help?"

"Well, I was going to get started on a fresh green bean salad in a few minutes, but if you want," Bruce offered.

"I thought _I_ was your special helper," Tony said indignantly, a comical sight as he turned and looked at Bruce in slight offense while still whisking away. 

Tony's clingy streak seemed to be getting more and more pronounced, if Bruce wasn't quite mistaken. But he let it go for the time being and was about to counter when Steve spoke up again.

"I don't want to, you know, interrupt anything." Bruce tilted his head just a fraction at the strange tone in Steve's voice. "I really just wanted to talk about something, if you don't mind, Bruce."

Bruce smiled. Of course. "Well, since everyone seems to think I'm the resident shrink," he started with a laugh, "I don't see why not. But if you don't mind starting on that - Tony, you can stop whisking now - on the green bean salad while we finish the chicken and dumplings, we can talk. Unless you meant privately. In that case, later if it's okay. Since Tony was here first," he added with an indulgent smile towards the inventor, noticing with amusement the way he practically preened. 

"I don't mind if Tony hears," Steve responded with a shrug. "Not national secrets or anything."

"Alright, well, shoot whenever you feel like," Bruce offered and then turned his attention to Tony for a moment, while Steve set about starting on the green bean salad with the ingredients already laid out. "Come on, special helper. Next lesson is how to actually make the dumplings."

Bruce moved over to the stove, pausing to preheat the oven for the frozen dinner rolls they usually had on hand and to grab a spoon. He uncovered the soup, stirring it a few times with a metal utensil sitting nearby and then setting it to simmer, and then proceeded to show Tony how to spoon out an appropriate amount of dumpling mixture to add in. They fell into a natural rhythm of Tony trying to get the goopy dumpling mix onto the spoon and then plopping it into the pot for Bruce to stir in by gently shaking the pot. 

"It's about Sharon," Steve spoke finally. "I feel like things might be getting serious between us, but..." He didn't finish.

"You're thinking about Peggy?" Bruce filled in the blanks.

"Yeah. It's maybe a little silly, but I just thought Peggy was the one, you know? She would have been if not for the..."

"Accident." This time it wasn't a question, but a shared understanding. Bruce didn't miss the knowing sideways glance from Tony either. "You're trying to reconcile feelings you had back then with feelings you have now, I'm assuming."

"I guess that's exactly what I'm doing." Steve sighed. "I just don't know how." His voice was far from the reassuring tone everyone expected from Captain America. It was broken. It was just the voice of a struggling man. 

Bruce turned to look at Steve sympathetically, trusting the chicken and dumplings to Tony's care. "It's never easy for anyone, Steve." He shrugged. "You fall in love, think it's forever, something happens, and it's back to square one. You don't always know or think there can be anyone else. But then somebody else does come along and it confuses you because you could have sworn this couldn't happen again. And sometimes... Sometimes the feelings are even deeper and that confuses you even more." 

Steve had been preparing the salad, but paused to look up at him with the expression that the team had fondly begun to liken unto a sad, confused puppy. In general, the team thought he looked like a puppy, which sometimes annoyed their Captain. Steve met his gaze for a moment, but then gave a slightly odd look towards Tony. Bruce stifled a sigh, assuming Tony was probably making some kind of mistake with the chicken and dumplings. Tony needed the independent practice so he ignored his need to micromanage and continued with the conversation.

"You know, it's hard for all of us, but I understand your case is stranger than most. So the answer might not be quite the same. Normally, there's always the slight chance things will work out again for two people after they separate. But I realize that's not possible for you. Then there's the fact that Sharon is related to Peggy, am I right? Is that part of it?"

Steve nodded and returned to finishing the salad. Bruce moved to grab a baking sheet and then, pulling the dinner rolls from the freezer, began placing them onto said baking sheet. No sooner than he was done, the oven dinged alerting them it had finished pre-heating. He then placed the rolls in the oven and set the timer. 

"Sometimes, I wonder if what I think I feel for Sharon is only my mind playing tricks with me because she's a link to Peggy. They're very different people, of course. But I'd be lying if sometimes I didn't think about how she reminds me of Peggy. I'd be lying if I said sometimes when we're together, I don't wonder what if. What if I wasn't there with her. What if this were 1946 and it were me and Peggy."

" _Steve_ ," Bruce said firmly. "It's okay, you know? You don't have to feel bad for playing the what if game. We've all been there. And until you're sure of your feelings for Sharon or somebody else, it's just naturally how it's going to be. As long as you're honest with Sharon and not trying to hurt her, that's what matters. I know I can't speak for her, but if I were Sharon I'd maybe wonder the same thing."

"What do you mean?" Steve asked, slightly puzzled.

"Well, she knows who she is just as much as you do. She has to be aware of what you had with Peggy. It's a very real possibility that she feels just like a stand in, you know? Maybe she thinks she'll only be second-choice. Because you couldn't have Peggy."

"Ouch, dammit," Tony cursed suddenly and Bruce spun back around to look at him in concern. "I, uh, got a little carried away with that last shake of the pot. Splattered me with hot water."

"Oh," Bruce said with a nod and then moved over to finish helping him. "We're going to cover it now and let it simmer," he said, turning on another timer. 

"You know, I hadn't thought about that," Steve returned to the conversation as Bruce came back over to the island and leaned his elbows onto one of the clear areas. "I never really imagined it from her side. I guess that's pretty insensitive of the great Captain America, isn't it?"

"Maybe," Bruce replied, shrugging slightly. "But it means even the great Captain America is still human which is probably a little more endearing in this day and age. Look, I would have this conversation with her. It's an elephant in the room, Steve and if either you aren't really comfortable with it, then you should probably clear the air now. Sometimes just being honest is the best possible solution. It can hurt like hell, but better now than later. Besides, you don't know if that's how she feels. She might not resent your uncertainty, you know. She might understand this is weird for you and just wants to support you until you're sure. Some people are actually pretty incredible like that. Shocking, I know," he added with a sardonic chuckle. 

He paused for a moment, then continued. "You know, I had to finally talk to Betty."

"You what?" Tony asked suddenly, dropping the metal spoon to the floor with a _clank_. 

Bruce looked over his shoulder at him curiously for a moment. "Uh, yeah, I didn't think I needed to tell anyone. It was just a friendly lunch. Emphasis on friendly. She's engaged now and, well, it hurts, of course. The what ifs are still there like they are for you, Steve, but figuring out where we stood with one another now that I'm trying to assimilate was pretty necessary. We both needed it, you know? The face to face sit down and honesty instead of just pretending like it never happened. It was just as much for her as it was me, I think. I could tell immediately she cares a lot about her fiancé and being near her again, I realized we couldn't just go back. It wouldn't be worth it to try. Even if I could give her everything she deserves, the time and distance was just too much. We're both different people now. We still care, but not that way. Not anymore."

Steve sighed. "That's rough, but thank you for sharing," he said appreciatively. "If I'm being honest, what I knew about you and Betty is why I thought it might be best to talk to you about this. You know what it's like to, well, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Bruce replied patiently. It was a weird connection between them, having both loved and lost because of circumstances beyond their control. Figuring out how to pick up the pieces and move on. Wondering if they even could.

"So you think I should talk to Sharon, then?" At the moment, the man out of time looked all of the theoretical, if not technical, nearly twenty years younger that he was compared to Bruce. He looked like a twenty-something man at a crossroads he still wasn't quite mature enough yet to figure out on his own. 

"Well, tactfully, of course," Bruce teased, lightening the mood. "But, yeah, I think you should. And, Steve, remember, no matter what happens with you and Sharon or anyone else, just because you can't go back doesn't mean you can't look back. Peggy is a good memory. If you hurt a little more some days and miss those memories sometimes, it really, really _is_ okay. Just... Don't let it stop you from going forward if that's what you want to do."

"He's right, you know," Tony added. "You should definitely, definitely listen to him. He's just fooling everybody with this 'not a shrink' thing."

Bruce smiled at the roundabout compliment and then smiled again at the more forthcoming one that Steve followed it with.

"Don't worry. I wasn't planning on ignoring his advice. Shrink or not, he's an excellent friend and I trust him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not like a gung-ho Sharon/Steve shipper (it's like 3rd or 4th on my list of Steve ships maybe), but I figured it was the best talking point for Steve and Bruce here for where I was going with this (which was ultimately Bruce's final closure with Betty and that character development for him). But that's why I wanted to add the reasonable doubt about whether Sharon will ultimately be 'the one'. 
> 
> If I was Bruce and Tony's love child, my cooking skills would probably fall somewhere in between them, leaning slightly more towards Tony so, yeah, any culinary details here are to be taken with a grain of salt and hopefully a bit of longsuffering.


	5. Sam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I pretty much reworked Sam's origin here by mixing his TWS work with PTSD sufferers by making it so that he does that for S.H.I.E.L.D. (after having hung up the exo) rather than DVA and by having him join the team in a different way. This is my first time writing Sam dialogue so it was hard finding his voice as well as how he might relate to Bruce. Sorry in advance.

"You know I don't really like surprises," Bruce said warily as he and Tony rode the elevator to the common room. 

"I know, I know. But it's your birthday so you're gonna have to indulge me, Big Guy."

Bruce looked at him strangely. "You know, if it's  _my_ birthday shouldn't it maybe be the other way around?"

"Ah, probably, but you know me by now. I wheedle my way into everything." Bruce just laughed softly in agreement to that point. "Hey, listen. You can trust me. I know not to do anything stupi- Okay, no, that's not true. BUT, you can trust me not to have done something that will make you want to throw me off the balcony."

"Suggesting a specific violent response is in no way reassuring," Bruce pointed out. 

Tony shrugged. "Okay, I can at least promise you there is not a surprise party up there. No clowns. Not even balloons."

The elevator came to a stop at the desired floor and the doors opened wide, as did Bruce's eyes when he came into the room. "No, but there is a giant Christmas tree..." Bruce said in disbelief as his eyes scanned the room.

There was not only a large, real Christmas tree that nearly touched the tall ceiling, standing near the fireplace, there were also tons of boxes. Some were already opened, revealing what looked like brand new Christmas ornaments, stockings, garland, wreaths. Who could tell what more was waiting in the unopened boxes.

He turned and looked at the beaming engineer in confusion. "Tony, why does it look like a Hallmark Store exploded in here?"

"Surprise! Isn't it great?" 

"Uh..."

"And actually, I did buy like one of everything from a nearby Hallmark Store. And a few other retailers. Had a few custom items ordered too. It was delivered about an hour since I knew it would just be you and me this afternoon," Tony gabbled an elaborate explanation that did nothing to clarify the situation on a whole.

"Still not understanding the why."

"Um, because it's the first Christmas we--'ll all be spending in the tower, obviously," Tony replied with an upturned hand and hitch of his shoulder. "I mean, come on, Bruce. I think that calls for going all out. Don't you? Creating memories, traditions, the whole shebang. I liked Christmas as a kid, but think about it. Christmas wasn't really, like, a thing Cap got to experience for years. And I doubt Clint and Natasha have many happy memories of it either. Obviously Thor wouldn't. This is like..." His hands slapped against his legs as he ran out of steam finally, unable to put the sentiment into words.

"Very sweet of you," Bruce finished for him, a soft smile at the gesture. "But," he looked around again, "you may have gone a little too overboard."

"Yeah, well, you know me. Never one for simple. I just figured it would be good to let everyone have a say in picking out what we use. And then anything we don't use I plan on donating to a local children's home or two along with another tree if they don't already have one. And a sizeable monetary donation, of course. Philanthropist," he reminded.

And, yes, sometimes Bruce did have to be reminded since Tony didn't typically talk about his donations unless there was some charity benefit or such that necessitated the topic. Bruce relaxed at this idea and smiled as he considered it. Tony was essentially trying to show his charitable side doubly with this grand gesture and it was touching. 

"Well, at least it's not something for my birthday," Bruce finally said with a small twist of his head.

"Actually..."

"What?" Bruce looked at him sharply.

"Kind of a twofold deal here." Bruce scrunched his face. "Here's the thing," Tony continued. "I thought instead of a traditional party where you're the center of attention, which we both know you're still not comfortable with yet, we could ease you into it with a Christmas decorating party. We'll do that later tonight. I'll send out a text to the group explaining it. I figure this way it's still a party and we can still, you know, make birthday toasts and that sort of thing - and if others get you presents I wash my hands of it now, but the focus will mainly be on the team. A team bonding scenario, if you will. I know it makes _you_ happy seeing _them_ happy and I think this will make them happy. So, uh, happy birthday, Big Guy." 

Bruce pursed his lips slightly as he considered it. "I... Huh." He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully, searching his feelings on the matter further. "You know, I actually might like that idea."

"Really?" Tony looked pleased, betraying the facade of his previous confidence in the plan. "So, you approve?"

"Yeah, I do." Bruce nodded. "It sounds way more enjoyable than just sitting around eating cake in honor of somebody's birth."

Tony clapped his hands together. "Okay, good. Great. But, uh, I-"

"-ordered a cake anyways didn't you?" Bruce asked knowingly, biting his tongue a bit between his teeth.

"Guilty. But I swear it's nothing too fancy. Just something to serve with refreshments while we have fun. Doesn't even say Happy Birthday Brucey which was extremely tempting so you should be proud of me."

Bruce sighed, but conceded just the same. "No singing happy birthday either, got it?" He gave him a glance that was equally playful and genuinely warning. 

"Done deal. I'll have Natasha widow bite anyone who tries." Bruce rolled his eyes, but offered a yielding smile just the same. "Okay, so let's crack open the rest of these boxes and see what exactly we're dealing with and then I was thinking you and me can pick out the first two ornaments and put them up now."

Tony walked past him, sat cross-legged on the floor, and began by pulling out all the ornaments and spreading them on the floor for easier selection. Bruce eyed him curiously as he did.

"Would it really be right to hang two ornaments now if this is about the team?" Bruce asked after a moment's consideration.

"Uh, yeah, I think so," Tony said, not looking at him as he continued his task. "One, it's your birthday, so, obviously. Two, I pay the bills and bought all this cool stuff so, also obvious. Three, Avengers Tower is kinda like our adopted child so as the parents we reserve the right to, you know, go first."

Bruce blinked a few times. ""O _kay_. Well, one, that makes us really selfish parents. And, two, I wish you would have consulted me before adopting the tower."

Tony laughed slightly, but Bruce stood back studying him. Tony had been different lately and this was just another example. He was clingier than usual, as he'd already noted time and time and again. He was going out of his way more often now to prove his care and concern for the team. He seemed almost, well, desperate for something. Attention maybe? Belonging? Companionship? Bruce couldn't put his finger on it and he wasn't sure how to approach the subject either.

"Are you going to just stand there or come help me, huh?" Tony asked with a quick glance at him.

Bruce acquiesced and knelt down on the floor in front of one of the closed boxes. Opening it he found the beginnings of a Christmas village display. He laughed as he opened the next box, a smaller one, with a very obviously custom made Avengers Tower to go with the Christmas village display. "Well that's festive," he said through a snort of laughter.

"Oh, hey, there it is!" Tony's eyes lit up and reached for the tower just as the elevator dinged. Sam strolled in, looking a little distracted.

Bruce craned his neck backwards to see who it was, forgetting to let go of the tower. "Hey, Sam. Wanna join us?" He heard what sounded like a slight cough from Tony and looked back down at his hand, realizing Tony's fingers were still wrapped around his own in an effort to take the tower. "Oh, uh, sorry," he said, releasing his grip and pulling back. He only slightly glanced at Tony before quickly turning around to face Sam.

"Well, you know," Sam started uncertainly. He was looking back and forth between them. "I don't want to interrupt or anything."

"This is supposed to be a team thing anyway," Bruce said with a warm smile. "We were just going through the boxes and prepping everything for later."

"Oh, a team thing?" Sam perked up at that. "Sounds awesome."

"You're invited too," Tony offered, but Bruce thought his voice sounded somewhat distant. Distracted by studying the tower piece maybe.

Sam had been invited to become an official Avenger after helping the team save the day at the Thanksgiving Day parade. He had accepted the offer, after talking with Steve about it, but they still didn't see much of him as he had a lease on his own place to finish out before taking up any kind of residence in the tower.

"Thanks," Sam said genuinely, though not without a hint of hesitancy in his tone. "I actually came by to talk with you, Dr. Banner."

"Is everything okay?" Bruce asked in sudden concern for their new teammate. He didn't seem his usual, chipper self. And it seemed a bit strange that of all people, Sam would want to talk to him. Thus far, he kept mostly to Steve, Natasha, and Clint. Bruce stood to his feet and looked down at Tony, questioningly.  

"Go on and talk to him," Tony said with an easy smile and slight nod. "I've got this."

Bruce nodded and walked over to where Sam still stood near the elevator. "I'm all ears," he offered calmly.

"Okay, well, I don't want to come across insensitive, but I know your whole backstory about being on the run from the army since it was in the Initiative briefing file Tony gave me. So stop me if I say the wrong thing," Sam started tentatively.

"You're fine," Bruce assured him. "I know what's in the file. Tony ran it by me to make sure nothing I would be uncomfortable with was included."

"Oh, okay, good," Sam said, breathing a sigh of relief. "Alright, so I guess my question is how you've managed it?"

"Um, well, you _might_ need to be a little more specific," Bruce said gently. "Being a genius kind of makes common sense a little harder to come by," he joked.

"No, no, it's not you," Sam assured, though smiling at Bruce's sense of humor. "I just hadn't figured out how to put it yet. I mean, being on a team and with people again. I've talked to Steve about this kind of thing in the past, sharing war stories and assimilation stories and all that, but the guy's crazy adaptable and does the whole team thing like it's as natural as breathing. So I wasn't sure if I could go to him on this particular point."

"Assimilation?" Bruce scrunched his face, trying to discern Sam's question. "Is that what you're asking about?" The man simply nodded. "I thought..." Bruce gestured in slight confusion, "Didn't SHIELD have you working with their PTSD cases after you hung up the exoskeleton? You have to know a little bit about assimilation if you can help others through that."

"Yeah, it's not that exactly. It's just..." Sam nodded his head side to side and this let out a sigh. "This is different. Working with an actual team again. Having a wingman. Or, you know, several."

"Ah," Bruce said in sudden understanding, bringing his lips into a straight line. 

"Before I met Steve, I didn't really go out of my way to associate with my SHIELD colleagues. It wasn't exactly the typical 9-5 desk job. I was pretty much my own boss minus the mandatory paperwork and check-ins to higher up. Mostly it was just give classes, listen to the survivors, share my wisdom and offer input about progress to the psych team when it was necessary. That sort of thing. I did it because I understood the struggle and wanted to help, you know? But outside of that, I was definitely what you'd call a loner. Losing a wingman... It's not easy letting yourself get close to someone like that again."

"No, it's not," Bruce murmured before bringing his focus back to the issue at hand. "So now that you're faced with the prospect of not being a loner again, it's a bit overwhelming. Is that it?" 

"I had a feeling you might understand," Sam replied with a nod.

"Yeah, I do," Bruce confirmed. "Adapting to this kind of lifestyle has, uh, definitely presented challenges. Mind you, I wasn't what you would call social before my accident either. But after not trusting myself or others for as long as I did, it was a lot like floundering for a while. There was a lot of mistrusting myself and thinking I'd be better off hiding again."

He paused, remembering those close calls where he had been all but out the door, duffel bag in hand and more agony in his chest at the thought of running than he'd ever had before joining the team. 

"Even when I made the conscious decision not to run away, it was still a bit like I wasn't quite assimilated. Everybody here is pretty social and easy in their skin. I'm," he chuckled softly, " _not_. Definitely not. If I had to choose between holing up in my lab or being at a party, I'd probably always pick the first option. That makes it a little difficult to fit in. Being a part of, well, a family I guess you could call it... It took some real effort. I'm actually still getting there. In fact, this team thing," he gestured to the Christmas items, "is also my birthday party as it turns out."

"What? Really?" Sam looked at him incredulously. "No celebration with cake or gifts or the usual?"

"Nope. Well, okay, apparently there will still be cake," he added with a thin smile, "but this is to help me celebrate without celebrating. Weird, right? That the team has to accommodate my quirks because I still haven't assimilated?"

"Nah, man. It sounds nice," Sam offered with several nods of approval. "I may be rusty, but that's what team is about. Others getting to know who you are and then going out of their way to have your back without making you feel weird about it. I'd feel pretty special if someone wanted to celebrate my birthday, but was respectful of my quirks."

"Want to know a secret?" Bruce asked with a small smile. "I do."

"Glad to hear it," Sam responded in an earnest tone.

"And you're part of this team now too. So, eventually you'll be in my position," Bruce pointed out. "It just might take some time."

"Is that what it took to finally start making sense of things? Time?"

"Yeah. That and a pretty good anchor," Bruce answered with a fond smile.

"Pretty sure I forgot what it feels like to have one of those too."

"It's not Steve?" Bruce asked with a tilt of his head.

"Huh. You know, it actually might be. I got back in because Captain America asked me, not because I woke up and felt like being a hero one morning. He's the one that convinced me to give this thing a try."

"Well, then. There you go." Bruce smiled. "And I think if you give us a chance, come over more often, you'll figure this thing out way faster than I did. You've clearly already got the background for it."

"Thanks," Sam said with a thin smile that spoke volumes in terms of gratitude.

"Why don't you start by coming over here and helping us put up one of the first three ornaments. Tony pretty much bought a million of them so take your pick," he said with a laugh as he guided him over to the pile of ornaments. 

"I found mine," Tony interjected, betraying that he had heard at least that part of the conversation. He proudly held up a Hulk ornament as he stood to his feet and walked over to the tree. 

Bruce furrowed his brow and followed him over. "They made a Hulk ornament? That doesn't seem very Christmas-y. Or, well, sensible. Why would anyone want a Hulk on their tree? They know he would probably just smash the tree for fun right?"

"Why are you so surprised?" Tony looked at him with a disapproving frown. "You seriously just gave Sam a kickass pep talk about belonging and you still can't fathom that the concept might expand beyond just the team?"

Bruce ducked his head. "I guess."

"Fine, so we still need to work on your outside world assimilation," Tony said more gently. "The point is even newbie here," he pointed at Sam, "got a limited supply ornament after they found out he's an Avenger now, so of course Hulk has one. Most of the world gets it, Bruce. You're one of us. And if the rest of us get ornaments, so do you." Bruce just nodded in concession to Tony's argument. "And I bet there are hundreds of boys and girls who are just as excited as I am to be hanging you on their tree. Or, almost as excited," he corrected with a teasing smile as he hung the ornament.

"This one reminds me of Riley," Sam interrupted, coming over to the tree. Bruce looked at him sympathetically and then went back over to the pile of ornaments to select the one he wanted while Sam hung his up. "He would have made one hell of an Avenger."

"I bet he would have," Tony offered. "Hey, I couldn't help overhear a little... Okay, most of your conversation. Hope you don't mind, but I was thinking. Let me buy out that lease of yours. Move your things into the tower with the rest of us."

Bruce smiled approvingly at Tony's offer as he returned and quietly hung up the Falcon ornament next to Sam's ornament. "You're part of our weird little family now, Sam," he added to Tony's sentiment.

"And family units should be closer together," Tony finished. "The sooner you move in, the sooner you can start hanging out with us the way we'd like you to."

"I'd like that too. But I couldn't pay you back or anything." Tony just shrugged at that. "Thank you, Mr-"

"-the name is Tony."

"Thanks, Tony," Sam said. 

"Thank Bruce here. He's the anchor. I kinda just follow his lead. Now, why don't you and me go take care of that lease real quick. That way you can enjoy the holidays with us."

Bruce watched in stunned silence as Tony and Sam left to take care of the issue. Once they were gone, he looked back at the tree with a furrowed brow. Of the two of them, he was certain he wasn't the anchor. That was Tony. Tony was _his_ anchor. That Tony thought the opposite was puzzling to say the least. As if to remind himself of his firm conviction, Bruce returned to the ornament pile and made the decision to add another.

When Tony returned, Bruce was no longer in the common room, but the billionaire immediately noticed the new ornament hanging on the tree, a sticky note attached. He walked over to it and pulled off the note that read: Hulk's Choice. He then smiled at the Iron Man ornament that now adorned the branch next to Hulk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Using the December birthday for Bruce here. And really, I hope Sam wasn't too awful. Sam seems pretty comfortable in his skin in TWS so I didn't want him to come across as super unsure of himself, but I also wanted to play with the idea of Sam being a little like the new kid, wanting to fit in, but it not being an immediate thing. Shrug.


	6. Tony

"Hey." Tony's low voice interrupted Bruce's faraway thoughts as he sat at the bar, facing away from it so that he could watch the party around him. Tony leaned against the bar casually. "When was the last time you talked to somebody, hmm?"

Bruce refrained from rolling his eyes. Tony had been good about not harassing him all night to loosen up so he figured he could indulge a few attempts every now and then. And he knew Tony meant well. Tony wanted him to enjoy the party too. "I mingled with a few agents about 20 minutes ago," he answered honestly.

"Really?" Tony was clearly pleased. "Maybe you should graduate to the next class and come talk to the mayor with me. He's a big fan."

"Don't push it," Bruce responded with a narrow, though not sharp, glance at him from the corner of his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, okay. But you are enjoying yourself, right? This- It's not too much?" 

Bruce turned his head fully to meet Tony's gaze. It was warm, concerned, maybe slightly hopeful and... Distant. 

Tony had been excited for Christmas for the past week. Christmas music blasted through the tower, especially in the labs, at random. Christmas specials and movies played whenever the team was together in front of the television. He had then planned a huge Avengers Tower Christmas Eve party open to SI staff, LEVEL 5 or higher SHIELD agents, celebrities, and other superheroes living in New York. 

But now, Tony might as well have been a thousand miles away. Bruce had watched him all day, clearly going through the motions of being excited about the party. He was obviously making a good show of it for the team's sake. He wanted them to enjoy it after all. That hadn't changed. And all night, Bruce had observed the tells that nobody else seemed to notice. There would be times when he would suddenly freeze or forget himself for a moment, before laughing it off and asking who spiked the eggnog - to which he would then reply, "Oh wait, it was me."

He was doing a good job at hiding it, of course. He was Tony Stark. He knew how to do good press. He knew how to turn on the media smile. Schmoozing was second nature to him. But it wasn't real. Bruce could tell. Besides the persona of media charmer that Tony was wearing, his eyes were distant. And they seemed to be getting more and more distant as the party wore on. 

"It's... A little overwhelming," Bruce answered. He did feel more than a little bit out of his element at such a huge gathering. This was the biggest party Tony had thrown since the Avengers became a team and it would take some getting used to should there be more like them. "But... It's not bad either," he added with a small shrug. That was true too. He had expected it would be much worse than this. Tony seemed to have kept it fairly calm and sophisticated rather than making it like one of his more notorious gatherings.

"Well, if it gets to be too much, you just tap my shoulder and we can duck down to the lab," Tony offered.

Bruce raised an eyebrow. "You'd really be okay with that? Ducking out of a party on my account? That doesn't seem like the Tony Stark I know," he teased slightly. But there was that distant look in Tony's eyes still that made him wonder if maybe Tony was actually _looking_ for a way out. 

He wondered what had changed. Why had Tony's sparkling, vibrant, childlike exuberance for Christmas suddenly faded? Was it because he was more into tradition and small celebrations where the holiday was concerned? Did a big celebration like this remind him of his parents being at Christmas parties and galas while he was alone at home?

Before Tony could respond to his previous jibe and before he could gather the nerve to just ask Tony what was wrong, Clint came over and joined them, carrying a stuffed rabbit. Bruce noticed the wary glance Tony immediately gave the item as Clint set it down on the bar. 

"Hey, Pepper just left. She asked me to give you this," Clint explained before turning his attention to Bruce. "So, doc, how long have you been hiding out here? There were a couple of hot scientists asking if I'd seen you around earlier. And I'm pretty sure they were interested in more than just lab talk," he added with a smirk and slight nod.

Bruce laughed at that notion, more disbelieving than flustered. "You should have asked them how much of Tony's spiked eggnog they'd had. I-" He was interrupted as Tony handed him the stuffed rabbit and unceremoniously walked away.

"What's with him?" Clint asked.

Bruce looked down at the stuffed rabbit in his hands with a sad sigh. Now it made sense. It had been a year since the Mandarin attack. It had been a year since he had nearly lost his entire world. Bruce had eventually heard the entire story and he vaguely recalled there being something about Pepper and a rabbit. Everything must have been triggering Tony and the rabbit was just the last little push over the edge.

"Excuse me," Bruce said as politely as possible and followed after Tony. Unable to find him, he made it to a quiet hall and asked JARVIS where he was. A few minutes later, he found him sitting alone in the secondary lobby several floors down. "This was a distraction, wasn't it?" Bruce asked gently as he sat down in the leather lobby chair across from him.

Tony looked at him for a moment before nodding. "I thought it would help."

"And the team stuff?"

"I still meant all that, but I knew today would be difficult. Figured flash and bang would keep my brain busy." He sighed. "It was just a hell of a day last year."

"I know. The suits, almost losing Pepper... I get it." Bruce said gently. It had been a hell of a day for him too. He had thought Tony was dead. He would have run if not for Steve, Clint and Natasha immediately coming to the tower to offer him support. "Maybe you should have just spent the day with Pepper instead," he suggested.

There were several awkward beats of silence.

"Pepper and I broke up about six months ago." 

The confession weighed heavy in the air around them.

Bruce blinked. And then blinked again. "What?"

Tony sighed again. "We broke up. Tried to make it work after I figured out the whole Extremis thing, but couldn't."

"Oh my god, Tony," Bruce said, shock evident in his tone. "I'm so sorry. I... I didn't know."

"Nobody did. We decided we should let it come out naturally instead of making it a big public thing. Didn't need the media harassing her," he elaborated. "You know they would have pinned this on her. They would have started asking whether or not she used me to get the CEO position. Crap like that. Me, I could have been cheating on her and they still would have come after her more. She's not the endearing asshole in this equation."

"I can see why you made that call," Bruce agreed. "Still, you could have told me. I'm not exactly spilling out secrets over here. But I understand if you didn't-"

"-stop. Whatever you're going to say right now... Just, whatever self-deprecating sentence that's rolling around in your mouth... Don't. It's more complicated than that. I didn't tell you because I didn't have the words, got it? It was feelings and confusion and a mutual decision so, you know. And I thought I could handle it. I did handle it." He shrugged.

"Okay, but you're my friend, Tony. So I'm also allowed to feel bad that I didn't notice sooner. That I couldn't be there for you, you know?" Bruce paused. He narrowed his eyes on the billionaire. "And you're telling me that none of the fixation on the team these past few months have been a little because of this?"

Tony hitched a shoulder. "Don't know. Maybe a little bit. The team's one of the reasons Pepper and I broke up."

"It is?"

"Yeah. She knew this is where my heart is now and she didn't love me enough to be a permanent part of it. She... She even asked me if I could give up the arc reactor, give up the suits completely for her if she wanted it. When I couldn't give her that, it seemed pretty obvious it was time to call it quits. We weren't... I guess we weren't really in love if neither of us were willing to make a sacrifice. And-" Tony let out a deep breath, steadying his nerves. "It wasn't just hypothetical. She really wanted me to get rid of the arc reactor. It was more like an ultimatum to prove where we stood."

"Wow," Bruce said, other words failing him at the idea of Tony without his arc reactor. Yeah, getting rid of the shrapnel would be great. He could understand Pepper's reasoning there. He could admit that maybe he would want that too in her position. But to ask Tony to give up something that had become such an integral part of him... That was definitely asking a lot and he could understand Tony's reservation.

"That's only something you can do for yourself," he said before he could stop himself. He didn't mean to be disrespectful of Pepper. Tony looked at him through slightly squinted eyes. "I mean, that is... You can't just give up a part of yourself because somebody asks you to. _You_ have to want it, Tony. Even if you did love somebody enough to do that to keep them, it would still have to be because you wanted them more than the other. If not, it might still lead to resentment later on."

"And here I thought I was just being too selfish to handle a stable relationship," Tony said with a sardonic snort aimed at himself.

"No," Bruce said sharply enough to snap him back to attention. "If anything you were being mature enough to realize you'd only be hurting Pepper in the long run if you tried to keep her around. It obviously wasn't healthy for either of you at that point. And you never know. Maybe in the future, you'll both..." He started, but trailed off.

"Not likely," Tony responded to the implication. "And I'm okay with it. It was never really healthy to begin with, mostly thanks to me. But we made a good effort. And we still care about each other. How many exes can actually say that?" He laughed a little, but hung his head slightly.

"Maybe you just weren't meant to have that with her," Bruce offered, a little hesitantly.

"Beginning to think I'm not meant to have that with anyone," Tony said with another sardonic sounding snort of laughter. But Bruce saw the way his chest heaved a silent sigh.

"I don't believe that," Bruce said with such conviction that Tony's head snapped up quickly to meet his gaze. "A guy like you, Tony? Yeah, there'll be someone else. Take it from somebody who knows what it means to be a loner. That's... That's just not you. You'll find somebody."

There was more silence as they held each others' gaze until Bruce became self conscious. He grabbed the rabbit sitting beside him and stared at it blankly. Maybe he hadn't said the right thing. He wasn't sure. He was just guessing based on one long term relationship he'd had before and the hope that, unlike himself, someone like Tony could move on and be stronger. The last thing Tony needed was to give up and fall back into a playboy norm when he was just so...

"You know, you're wrong about not having the temperament for this sort of thing." Bruce looked up at him in confusion, his previous thoughts scattering. This wasn't the kind of response he had expected. "Damn, Bruce don't look at me like that. Maybe you weren't good at it at first, but you were probably just rusty or something. And I was your first client," he added jokingly before becoming serious again. He leaned forward in his chair. "But I've watched you give this team advice and support time and time again and you... You're just so amazing." Bruce blinked and swallowed dryly. "Of course, you put up with me so that's a given."

"Not as hard as you think," Bruce replied to that point.

Tony smiled. "Not for you maybe. But seriously, Bruce. You've got the temperament and I just thought you should know that. Maybe you're not that kind of doctor, but-"

"-actually..."

"Actually what?" Tony tilted his head.

Bruce played nervously with the rabbit in his hands. "Uh... I actually am now. You kind of are my first client," he added with shaky laugh.

"What?" 

"Something Thor said some time ago struck me. It was silly, but I figured what the hell." Bruce felt a little sheepish as he considered how crazy it must sound having done something so off the cuff, so unlike him, but he didn't regret it. 

"Where are you going with this? Are you- Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Tony stared at him, flabbergasted to say the least.

Bruce chuckled. "Yeah, yeah I am. Crazy as it sounds, I've spent the past three months fast tracking a PhD in psychology in my spare time. Got my certification a few days ago actually. No plans of actually using it of course, but it's something for the bucket list I guess." For all of his usual humility, there was a certain kind of pride in his tone and expression as he admitted his secret. He hadn't planned on admitting it, but it felt right sharing it with Tony.

"You cheeky genius," Tony said with a wide grin. "And you are, so don't deny it. I see that glint in your eyes. You're definitely being cheeky about this." Bruce smiled thinly, lips quirking up just enough to give himself away. "Yep, see, knew it. And you're going to be insufferable after this, I can tell. Not to mention there goes the running gag," he continued to ramble.

Bruce laughed. "Okay, okay. Now you know. Why don't we get back to the party so you can go tell everyone how cheeky I am. I know you want to." 

"Do I ever," Tony replied with a guilty grin. "But that explains where you've been ducking out to at random the past few months," he added and Bruce's eyes widened. "Don't think I didn't notice. Our late night science benders have been alarmingly less in number. And here I thought you were finally just bored with me. Was getting a little worried I might be losing you or something," he said, more sincerity than humor in his tone.

"Uh..." Bruce swallowed hard, unsure. "I didn't realize... Didn't think I'd be missed that much." Bruce suddenly wondered if that explained Tony's clinginess, before reminding himself it was probably still to do with Pepper. Clearing his mind of the thought, he reached out to hand the stuffed rabbit to the other man. 

Tony looked at the rabbit for a moment and then looked sideways at nothing in particular. "It's yours." Bruce furrowed his brow at this. "Read the tag."

Bruce leaned back again and did as Tony suggested. The tag read _To: Bruce From: Pepper - I know you'll take good care of him._ His furrowed brow deepened as he tried to understand the sentiment behind a stuffed rabbit. He tried to recall the part of Tony's story about the stuffed rabbit, but failed - in his defense, it was a long, complicated, rambly story when Tony recounted it. Was Pepper just particularly fond of stuffed rabbits or rabbits in general? He looked back up to see Tony's tentative gaze upon him. His eyes weren't so distant anymore, but there was something else there now.

"Sir," JARVIS interrupted and Bruce flicked his eyes towards the ceiling. "Captain Rogers has suggested a final toast to end the evening and has asked that all of the Avengers be present to say a word to the guests."

"Alright, J. Tell him we'll be up in a minute," Tony said, still looking at Bruce. "You okay with that?" He got up to his feet and moved to stand just in front of the physicist. "You don't have to. I can tell Steve. He'll understand. I can meet you in the lab afterwards, if you want."

"I..." Bruce licked his lips slightly and then looked up at Tony. "I think I can handle it."

Tony smiled. "I know you can. But it's a matter of if you want to."

Bruce looked at the rabbit in his hands again. "Yeah, I think I do." He nodded and then stood to his feet. "Assimilation right?"

Tony blinked. "Assimilation, yes, great, good, _yes_." Bruce laughed a little as Tony enthusiastically clasped his shoulder. "Let's go then." They began walking back towards the elevator. "Uh, by the way," Tony began a little hesitantly. "Did you... Did you actually mean it when you said you think I'll find somebody else? You weren't just saying that since you're a shrink now right? Not just a bottled answer? You really believe I can, you know, _want_ to make an honest try of it again with someone? Maybe even more than I did with Pepper..."

"Of course," Bruce answered with an earnest shrug. "Why wouldn't I?" He asked, slightly confused, as the elevator door opened. They stepped in, Bruce first and Tony after, and stood side by side.

"Because what if it's you?"

The question resounded in the small space and Bruce turned his head quickly to look at the man beside him as the elevator door closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So originally this started out as a "cute" little gen Bruce bonding with the team fic with him slowly recognizing his character development since his decision to stay with the team leading to the handwavy logic of him earning a PhD in psychology in 3 months (because psychiatry takes longer and is actually more for severe mental illness treatment). But then after the first chapter was written, Tony literally kept popping up like "HEY BRUCE! PAY ATTENTION TO _ME_ BRUCE!" So then against my will (not hard though) it turned into a 5+1 fic with Bruce bonding with the team all with science bro → possible science boyfriend subtext. 
> 
> Sorry I failed in giving gen lovers a truly genfic. But I did decide I wanted to TRY and make the science bro aspect a little different by doing a "Stannerception" ending with a fade to black thing (cruel maybe). So that way it can be gen or pre-slash for anyone who wants it to stay unrequited or whatever while the underlying hints that it could be more are still there. Aka tried a thing; probably failed a thing; had fun anyway.


End file.
